Your Mom Loves Kobolds

Issue 12 of Kobold Quarterly is now on the rack at my FLGS, in the download bin at RPGNow.com, and in my hands (which is most important). Now, I'm not going to mince words here - I love this magazine and the company behind it. I've even been fortunate to have some of my own work published in a previous issue of KQ (#10 from last summer). Writing a review of KQ really wouldn't be fair since I'm so completely biased. You see... every single time I open my mailbox and find an issue of KQ therein I'm immediately giddy like a 13 year old pimple faced nerd who is joansing for his Mountain Dew and Nintendo fix.

Yeah. It's like that.

So, instead of writing a "fair and honest" review of Kobold Quarterly #12 (yawn) - I thought I would write about why you should buy this issue for your Mom.

Wait... what?

Yes. Your mom. She's going to LOVE KQ#12. It's not only becuase your Mom Loves Kobolds... let me tell you why else

It's Kid Friendly

Moms are always on the lookout for wholesome, kid freindly games and books for their little ones, yes? Well KQ12 will not disappoint. First off this issue features an article by James Jacobs where he recounts he experience at da Vinci Arts Middle School. It seems that the students of the school decided to use Jacobs' adventure for a school play! To be honest - this was the most surprising article in the whole issue. For some reason, the pictures (there are many) of the production just left me dumfounded, but chuckling all the way through while I read it. Just check out this screen capture from the PDF.

It looks awesome! What a great experience for those kids!

Another reason your Mom loves Kobolds is because this issue includes some more pratical sciencey learnin' stuff... you know: stuff that makes you smart. Mom's love it when their kids read stuff that makes them smarterz... and in this case, you can feast your eyes on the article by Jonathan McAnulty, The Ecology of the Froghemoth. Yep! You can learn all about the biology, ecology, life cycle, mating patterns, and other juicy details about this cuddly loving toad thingamabobber called a Froghemoth.

"This tongue is fastened to the front of the froghemoth’s mouth and is normally kept rolled up inside the creature’s head, though it can reach down its own throat with its tongue to dislodge food or items stuck there." -- The Honorable Sir McAnulty

I had NO IDEA what the heck a Froghemoth was before reading that article... but, no.. let me tell you... I've got a fricken PHD in Froghemoth Biology thanks to The Honorable Sir McAnulty. Just check out those eyeballs! [shudders] It's bound to scare the pants of any PC in a 3E/d20/OGL/PFRPG game. Not to mention all the cool facts you'll be able to whip out a the next diner party! "Hey Mom! Did you know that froghemoths go through three stages of growth, beginning with the..."

The History Channel is Included
We all know how much Mom loves the History channel, right? Or.. wait.. maybe that's Dad? Anyway... there's not really a subscription to the History Channel included, but there is this really nice, sweet but short article about ... (drum roll please) ... the history of Ninjas, by Catherine McDonald. Ok... before you ask, Catherine is NOT a ninja - but apparently she knows a lot about them. In her article you'll get three lessons about how to be a Ninja in your game.

(Loud barking samurai voice starts now)
"LESSON #1 - A NINJA NEVER BRAGS ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY KICK ASS!"
"LESSON #2 - A NINJA ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO KICK ASS WITH!"
"LESSON #3 - A NINJA NEVER RUNS AWAY UNLESS THEY NEED TO RUN AWAY!"

It Has Book Reviews
So, since Moms are all the same - I'm assuming that she gave you the same advice too.

"Now remember son, if you read enough book reviews you can just skip reading the books themselves. Don't ever forget that - it's an important life lesson." -- my Mom.

So... look closely... you can see in tiny type on the cover of KQ12 that there are book reviews inside. How many? you ask. Three. i say. What books are reviewed? Pierres Anthony's Steppe, Cherie Priest's Boneshaker, and James Enge's This Crooked Way. And... while I haven't read the books myself, I have to say that the REVIEWS are awesome. Very well written and informative. I might even not need to read the books! Wohoo!

There are tons more reasons why your Mom loves Kobolds -- you just need to talk to her to find out what they are -- and... if she's a gamer like you are, then she's absolutely going to love every single page of KQ12. Just check out what else is inside:

Kobold Quarterly is available in print from KoboldQuarterly.com.